It was wonderful to see the Atherton Uniting Church filled to overflowing last Monday (19th January) as we celebrated Max's life and said goodbye (to his physical form, anyway). Leo Newell, the minister of the church, had helped us create the program, and conducted it beautifully. Songs were sung, prayers were prayed, and many of the ways that Dad had touched people's lives were shared by family and friends. We even screened a powerpoint presentation * of snapshots of his life with him singing The Stars * as the soundtrack. My brother Phil created that, and he even wrote the song, too! Dad's three sons (Pete, Phil, and I), and three of his grandsons (Simon, Nick, and Harley) were very honoured pallbearers.
(* Please note . . . if you want to run the powerpoint presentation along with The Stars soundtrack, you will need to download both files [links above] and place them in the same folder before running it.)
When I got up to say my bit, as well as reading out some words that Dad's brother Geoff had sent, I also read out a poem that I had written for the occasion called "Celebrating Dad". It evoked many feelings in myself and others on the day and I would like to include it in this update as a tribute to him . . .
CELEBRATING DAD
Hi there Dad. I know you’re here. So “Au Revoir”, I say ‘cause I know I’ll see you again; you’re just a breath away We’ve all come here to pay respect, and celebrate your life Your kids, and grandkids, siblings, friends, and your beloved wife
You really touched so many lives while you walked on this earth And I know I am one of those that celebrate your birth They say nobody’s perfect, Dad, but I have come to see You’ve always only ever been the perfect Dad for me
Providing for your family was a goal you set to do And all we ever wanted more of was some time with you I am so proud to be your son, and grateful, through and through You helped me learn so many things as I grew up with you
How to kick a football, how to bat and bowl How to drive a nail in, and how to dig a hole How to ski behind a boat, and how to sail one too All these things and so much more, I learned because of you
But you know what Dad the greatest gift that you bestowed on me Was a drive to seek and find the truth, and to always be An instrument of love and peace to everyone you knew So thanks dear Dad, may all that love and peace now be with you
In conclusion, I thought it'd be good to let you know that Mum is going amazingly well. As you can imagine, she is missing Dad heaps, but she is able to express her sadness pretty well as it arises. We have spoken a lot about the grieving process, something I have learned a great deal about on my journey to date, and she seems to be willing and able to embrace it, as uncomfortable as it is. She had blood tests done on Wednesday, and her doctor came and saw her yesterday (Thursday 23rd) with the results. She passed everything with flying colours! And because her foot is healed of its ulcers, and she is no longer in any pain, he dropped her pain patch down one level to the lowest level there is. So . . . all the love you have been sending has definately been working :) It is soooooo appreciated . . . thank you soooooo much :)
A sombre update today, folks, as Dad (Max) left his body around 11:45 yesterday morning. He also left behind the pain he was in and is suffering no more. The French say Au Revoir as a more formal version of "see you later", and thats seems totally appropriate to me here, due to my belief that the essence of who we are is much much greater than the body we inhabited while we were living here in three dimensional reality.
He will always be as close as a thought because the love that he is (and we all are) can never die. Still, his pyhsical presence, especially for Mum, is a huge loss, and needs to be grieved. I do believe that she will be able to navigate through that difficult process, because she has quite good access to her feelings, and she is certainly being encouraged and supported in embracing it by me . . . but any love and support YOU can send her way will be very much appreciated.
This is not going to be a long update, but I was very pleased to find a couple of moving and uplifting videos online that I wanted to share with you at this time. The first is "To Where You Are", by Josh Groban, but sung here by Chloe Agnew, and although it's not definate yet, Mum would like this song to be played at the funeral, which, incidentally, is going to be held at 2.00p.m. next Monday (18th) at the Atherton Uniting Church.
The second is a beautiful song called "Love Is Eternal", and although it's not my favourite version of the song, Carly Simon does an excellent job of it, and I was suprised to even find a video of it at all . . . enjoy :)
Hmmmm . . . if I waited another 10 days, THIS update would have been 2 months since the last one . . . just like the LAST one LOL! Oh well, I do my best :) . . . and a lot has happened since the last one, I can tell you. And, like the last one, it's better late than never, I reckon :)
One highlight was a whirlwind trip to Victoria in late November/early December of 2008 to pack up my unit, and the drive back up to Atherton. I figured it was enough of an adventure to want to share with friends and family, but rather than put it all here in a Blog, and bore those who didn't want to put aside the time it'll take to read it all, I decided to upload it to a page on my website so those that did want to read it could :). If you are one of those people, clicking here will take you there.
But before I share any more of what has happened since the last update, I'd like to do a health report. Pete did an excellent job of caring for Dad & Mum while I was away, and their life was made a whole lot more comfortable when the TCL split system reverse cycle air conditioner was installed, but by the time I got back, Dad's patch was only just doing the job, and little by little he got more and more uncomfortable, until, after a few days of doing too much and resting too little, he was sent into hospital by his Doctor again . . . on Christmas night :(
He was in there for 3 days, and was looking much better after the blood transfusion he had while he was in there, but it didn't really last that long and he was back in a week later on the 6th January. He is still there as I write, and they are having trouble balancing the amount of pain relief he needs to be comfortable with the amount of not-drugged presence needed to function effectively in the world. I suppose there was going to come a time when the drugs he needed to make his pain levels managable would mean he would not be able to function effectively enough to live at home, and its possible that time might have arrived, but we will wait and see.
Mum has been quite teary lately, and she seems to be feeling Dad's absence and lack of health more than usual. Aside from that, she is physically quite well, and can now go several hours without oxygen. Her foot is totally healed of it ulcers, and even after her pain patch was dropped down one level, her only pain now is produced by an occasional headache, which panadol seems to deal with effectively. On a lighter note, it was my 50th birthday on the 19th of December.
I've never been much of a party animal, having not had parties as a kid (due to it falling in the school holidays), but I would have celebrated my 50th in a bigger way with family and friends if I had still been down in Melbourne. However, I wasn't upset in the slightest, really, because I very much enjoyed the low-key celebration I had with my family up here . . . dinner out at the Tolga Hotel, and then champagne and cake (black forest - my favourite) at home for desert :)
Yep, I think 50 years is quite a milestone, and I feel very proud to have made it this far. So thank you to everyone who blessed me with gifts. One very special gift worth mentioning was from Dad & Mum, and was a balloon flight over the Atherton Tablelands (well not right over them from one side to the other - but up floating over the top of them - for half an hour LOL!). The funny thing was that the second flight of the day (that I was to go on) was cancelled due to a change of wind. The pilot explained that there were no roads going into the area the wind would have taken the ballon if they had done the second flight, and we would have been stuck out there LOL!
But, as it turned out, it was all good, because the weather was hot and muggy (yep, even at 4.00 in the morning), and the sky was overcast - NOT good ballooning weather, and I can now take the flight on a day of my choosing. I have some new friends up here who also want to experience the bigger picture perspective that ballooning provides, and it looks like we will all go in a group some time in the future, which will also be a lot more fun for me than going on my own.
One last highlight I really wanted to mention was Chris & Patsy Hannam's visit. They actually visit every few months, and are very dear friends of the family, but I have not put them up on a Blog before. But, as they are two of Dad & Mum's favourite people in the whole world, I really wanted to do so this time. Unfortunately, the visit coincided with Dad's Christmas hospitilisation, and so he was not in the group pic below. He didn't miss out though, as they went and spent some time with him in hospital :)
So . . . that's about it. At this point, I would like to wish YOU a very wonderful 2009. I truly hope it unfolds even more magnificently for you and all your loved ones, than you could ever have imagined :) . . . and even though its a bit late now, fireworks are always fun. Ciao . . .
If I waited another 10 days for this update, it would have been 2 months since the last one, and I can hardly believe so much time has passed in what has felt like such a short time. Anyway, better late than never, and I'd better get started, because I have a lot to share LOL!
A health update first of all. I mentioned Mum's oxygen concentrator in the last Blog update, but thought I'd show you what it looked like (below) . . . isn't she a beauty. Mum really couldn't be living at home without it, and my only criticism is that it produces heat as well as oxygen, which will be great in winter, but that aspect of it is very unappreciated in summer, I can tell you :(
So, after the hospitilisation mentioned in the last update, it seems Mum decided one miraculous recovery was not enough, and in order to keep us on our toes, she went and knocked on death's door once more. After a blood test revealed that her blood hemoglobin level was low, so she went in to hospital for a blood transfusion on the 23rd October. She had two bags of blood, and was going to stay in overnight, and come home the next day. That was until she had a heart attack about 1.00 the next morning.
Once again, Dad and I were called in, and once again she was in the room where family can "say goodbye", so we sat by her side, drifting in and out of sleep until a few hours later when she came to, wondered what on earth we were both doing sitting by her side at 3.30 in the morning, and wanted a drink of water.
Well, much to the suprise of all the doctors and hospital medical staff, she had survived again, though it was still another two weeks before she was strong enough to come home, which she did on the November 5th. The one major difference is that she needs oxygen for most of the time now, and can only go a couple of hours without it at the most. And now the portable oxygen bottle pretty well stays in the car for her when we need to go somewhere in it.
Now to Dad. Our concerns about his pain at the end of the last update resulted in his pain patch being increased yet again. And, because he is actually resting much more now due to eating upstairs with Mum (who has most of her meals in bed) he seems to be quite stable. He also has some fun things in his life at the moment too, which seem to be powerful motivators to hang around a while yet. The first of these is his Orrery. He saw the ad (play the video below so you know what I'm talking about) on TV and was very excited about it. He said something like "THAT would give me something to live for, wouldn't it!"
Naturally, after that response, it didn't take long for me to get the first edition (magazine and first few parts) from the the newsagent, and subscribe to the rest of them (about 52 in all) online. He studied that magazine, and began to doubt his ability to actually construct it, so Phil and I decided to give him something to practice on and got him an eary birthday present of a Meccano set, which used similar tools, similar components, and had similar instructions to follow. It was a good thing too, because at the time of writing this, he still has not received the free toolkit that came with the Orrery, nor enough parts to start on constructing it, but his first Meccano project (below) shows he certainly is getting the hang of it, and will have no trouble when its ready to start :)
The 13th of November was Dad's birthday, and despite him not being expected to make it when I moved up here in February, he did!!! Dad, Mum, and I had a quiet lunch on the day, because the rest of the day was spent in him speaking to the 30 to 40 family and friends that called him on the phone to wish him a happy birthday. Our real celebration (and a special treat) was held at Phil & Shelly's place on Saturday 15th. Coctails on the lawn at 5.30 . . .
. . . before a delicious B-B-Q dinner, and a little singing, candle flame blowing, and the cutting of an exquisite black forest birthday cake . . .
. . . followed by the special treat of Andre Rieu LIVE. Phil & Shellie had bought the rights to watch the Melbourne Andre Rieu concert as it happened on their Austar Satelite TV service . . .
. . . and Dad and Mum got the best seats in the house. They would have to be two of his biggest fans, and they had an absolutely wonderful time with Andre, despite it ending up a very late night for them :)
The next day two very dear friends of theirs, George and Lorna Jackson arrived, and Dad and Mum were able to share some of the concert, that we had recorded, with them
Whew . . . made it to the end, and now I'm up to date finally LOL! Hopefully, the next update will not be so long in coming :)
Yep . . . I have a few good news stories today. Mum's miraculous (considering how close she came to checking out of 3D once and for all), and gradual, recovery continued, and by the time Pete (my brother) and Barb (his wife) arrived in the early hours of the Monday morning (of the 15th) her ability to feed herself had pretty well returned to normal, her appetite was almost there too, and her decision to stay on a while longer was clear (one good news story). Here she is in hospital with Dad and Barb.
She had been told on the Sunday (the 14th) that she could go home when she was able to go a day without oxygen, but she got the OK to go on Tuesday, despite still not being able to go without it. Naturally, I jumped up and down about this, because all we had at home was a small emergency bottle, which simply was not good enough, so her doctor set into motion the process of acquiring an oxygen concentrator, a machine that produces oxygen on tap 24/7 if needed, but it meant that she would have to stay in hospital until it arrived from Cairns.
This was a bit disappointing for her, as it was HARLEY'S 14TH BIRTHDAY (another good news story) that very day. Thankfully, she was given three hours leave from the hospital and was able to join in the family gathering we held to celebrate Harley's birthday. Here he is with one of his pressies :)
Well, Pete had to drop Barb off at the Cairns airport the next day so she could fly back to Melbourne for work commitments, but miraculously, he was able to pick up the concentrator while down there, which meant Mum could come home that day as well, without any concern about her running out of oxygen again (another good news story).
Friday arrived, and after resting for most of the time in her first few days home from hospital, Mum felt well enough to go out and enjoy the beautiful day we were going to have, so we (Dad, Mum, Pete, Simon, and I) all went for morning tea at Gallows Chocolate and Cheese factory coffee shop, and we had a lovely time (see - lots of good news stories LOL!).
Oh yeah . . . I had a day off in there too :) Having Peter staying here with us to help out while he was up meant I could go and visit some friends, Krishna and Myrilla Skye, that I had been wanting to visit ever since I met them and heard about their spiritual retreat/centre, Skye Pheonix, and the wonderful octagonal house they had built there outside Ravenshoe. Pete took over the task of preparing the midday meal and I enjoyed a relaxing break with my friends (and yet another good news story :) )
Some not so good news was that the day before Peter left to fly back to Melbourne (which he did on Wednesday 24th) Dad's pain got to the point where his current level of patch was no longer doing the job and he was unable to get out of bed, even with Pete and I there to help. He pretty well screamed in agony with even the slightest movement. The doctor was called, he was given a shot of morphine, and the ambulance took him to hospital. The good news part of this story is that I brought him home in the evening of the 25th in pretty good shape. Total rest (the type you are forced to have in hospital) does wonders for Dad. It's a pity he seems unable to rest like that at home.
The final good news story for this update is that some friends of Dad & Mums, Ian and Helen Stephens, with two of their children, Peter and Alex (and Alex's friend, Andrew) called in out of the blue on Friday afternoon, and Mum and Dad enjoyed catching up with them all very much. I even managed to organise a pic before they left.
My final entry for this update . . . as of the time of writing this (afternoon of Saturday 27th), Dad has been in a lot of pain again today, and has left a message for the doctor to call back. While he waits for the return call, he has taken a dose of liquid morphine and gone to bed.
So . . . till next time . . . blessed be always, and In Lak'ech to you, and everyone and everything in your world . . .
