It was wonderful to see the Atherton Uniting Church filled to overflowing last Monday (19th January) as we celebrated Max's life and said goodbye (to his physical form, anyway). Leo Newell, the minister of the church, had helped us create the program, and conducted it beautifully. Songs were sung, prayers were prayed, and many of the ways that Dad had touched people's lives were shared by family and friends. We even screened a powerpoint presentation * of snapshots of his life with him singing The Stars * as the soundtrack. My brother Phil created that, and he even wrote the song, too! Dad's three sons (Pete, Phil, and I), and three of his grandsons (Simon, Nick, and Harley) were very honoured pallbearers.
(* Please note . . . if you want to run the powerpoint presentation along with The Stars soundtrack, you will need to download both files [links above] and place them in the same folder before running it.)
When I got up to say my bit, as well as reading out some words that Dad's brother Geoff had sent, I also read out a poem that I had written for the occasion called "Celebrating Dad". It evoked many feelings in myself and others on the day and I would like to include it in this update as a tribute to him . . .
CELEBRATING DAD
Hi there Dad. I know you’re here. So “Au Revoir”, I say ‘cause I know I’ll see you again; you’re just a breath away We’ve all come here to pay respect, and celebrate your life Your kids, and grandkids, siblings, friends, and your beloved wife
You really touched so many lives while you walked on this earth And I know I am one of those that celebrate your birth They say nobody’s perfect, Dad, but I have come to see You’ve always only ever been the perfect Dad for me
Providing for your family was a goal you set to do And all we ever wanted more of was some time with you I am so proud to be your son, and grateful, through and through You helped me learn so many things as I grew up with you
How to kick a football, how to bat and bowl How to drive a nail in, and how to dig a hole How to ski behind a boat, and how to sail one too All these things and so much more, I learned because of you
But you know what Dad the greatest gift that you bestowed on me Was a drive to seek and find the truth, and to always be An instrument of love and peace to everyone you knew So thanks dear Dad, may all that love and peace now be with you
In conclusion, I thought it'd be good to let you know that Mum is going amazingly well. As you can imagine, she is missing Dad heaps, but she is able to express her sadness pretty well as it arises. We have spoken a lot about the grieving process, something I have learned a great deal about on my journey to date, and she seems to be willing and able to embrace it, as uncomfortable as it is. She had blood tests done on Wednesday, and her doctor came and saw her yesterday (Thursday 23rd) with the results. She passed everything with flying colours! And because her foot is healed of its ulcers, and she is no longer in any pain, he dropped her pain patch down one level to the lowest level there is. So . . . all the love you have been sending has definately been working :) It is soooooo appreciated . . . thank you soooooo much :)
A sombre update today, folks, as Dad (Max) left his body around 11:45 yesterday morning. He also left behind the pain he was in and is suffering no more. The French say Au Revoir as a more formal version of "see you later", and thats seems totally appropriate to me here, due to my belief that the essence of who we are is much much greater than the body we inhabited while we were living here in three dimensional reality.
He will always be as close as a thought because the love that he is (and we all are) can never die. Still, his pyhsical presence, especially for Mum, is a huge loss, and needs to be grieved. I do believe that she will be able to navigate through that difficult process, because she has quite good access to her feelings, and she is certainly being encouraged and supported in embracing it by me . . . but any love and support YOU can send her way will be very much appreciated.
This is not going to be a long update, but I was very pleased to find a couple of moving and uplifting videos online that I wanted to share with you at this time. The first is "To Where You Are", by Josh Groban, but sung here by Chloe Agnew, and although it's not definate yet, Mum would like this song to be played at the funeral, which, incidentally, is going to be held at 2.00p.m. next Monday (18th) at the Atherton Uniting Church.
The second is a beautiful song called "Love Is Eternal", and although it's not my favourite version of the song, Carly Simon does an excellent job of it, and I was suprised to even find a video of it at all . . . enjoy :)
Hmmmm . . . if I waited another 10 days, THIS update would have been 2 months since the last one . . . just like the LAST one LOL! Oh well, I do my best :) . . . and a lot has happened since the last one, I can tell you. And, like the last one, it's better late than never, I reckon :)
One highlight was a whirlwind trip to Victoria in late November/early December of 2008 to pack up my unit, and the drive back up to Atherton. I figured it was enough of an adventure to want to share with friends and family, but rather than put it all here in a Blog, and bore those who didn't want to put aside the time it'll take to read it all, I decided to upload it to a page on my website so those that did want to read it could :). If you are one of those people, clicking here will take you there.
But before I share any more of what has happened since the last update, I'd like to do a health report. Pete did an excellent job of caring for Dad & Mum while I was away, and their life was made a whole lot more comfortable when the TCL split system reverse cycle air conditioner was installed, but by the time I got back, Dad's patch was only just doing the job, and little by little he got more and more uncomfortable, until, after a few days of doing too much and resting too little, he was sent into hospital by his Doctor again . . . on Christmas night :(
He was in there for 3 days, and was looking much better after the blood transfusion he had while he was in there, but it didn't really last that long and he was back in a week later on the 6th January. He is still there as I write, and they are having trouble balancing the amount of pain relief he needs to be comfortable with the amount of not-drugged presence needed to function effectively in the world. I suppose there was going to come a time when the drugs he needed to make his pain levels managable would mean he would not be able to function effectively enough to live at home, and its possible that time might have arrived, but we will wait and see.
Mum has been quite teary lately, and she seems to be feeling Dad's absence and lack of health more than usual. Aside from that, she is physically quite well, and can now go several hours without oxygen. Her foot is totally healed of it ulcers, and even after her pain patch was dropped down one level, her only pain now is produced by an occasional headache, which panadol seems to deal with effectively. On a lighter note, it was my 50th birthday on the 19th of December.
I've never been much of a party animal, having not had parties as a kid (due to it falling in the school holidays), but I would have celebrated my 50th in a bigger way with family and friends if I had still been down in Melbourne. However, I wasn't upset in the slightest, really, because I very much enjoyed the low-key celebration I had with my family up here . . . dinner out at the Tolga Hotel, and then champagne and cake (black forest - my favourite) at home for desert :)
Yep, I think 50 years is quite a milestone, and I feel very proud to have made it this far. So thank you to everyone who blessed me with gifts. One very special gift worth mentioning was from Dad & Mum, and was a balloon flight over the Atherton Tablelands (well not right over them from one side to the other - but up floating over the top of them - for half an hour LOL!). The funny thing was that the second flight of the day (that I was to go on) was cancelled due to a change of wind. The pilot explained that there were no roads going into the area the wind would have taken the ballon if they had done the second flight, and we would have been stuck out there LOL!
But, as it turned out, it was all good, because the weather was hot and muggy (yep, even at 4.00 in the morning), and the sky was overcast - NOT good ballooning weather, and I can now take the flight on a day of my choosing. I have some new friends up here who also want to experience the bigger picture perspective that ballooning provides, and it looks like we will all go in a group some time in the future, which will also be a lot more fun for me than going on my own.
One last highlight I really wanted to mention was Chris & Patsy Hannam's visit. They actually visit every few months, and are very dear friends of the family, but I have not put them up on a Blog before. But, as they are two of Dad & Mum's favourite people in the whole world, I really wanted to do so this time. Unfortunately, the visit coincided with Dad's Christmas hospitilisation, and so he was not in the group pic below. He didn't miss out though, as they went and spent some time with him in hospital :)
So . . . that's about it. At this point, I would like to wish YOU a very wonderful 2009. I truly hope it unfolds even more magnificently for you and all your loved ones, than you could ever have imagined :) . . . and even though its a bit late now, fireworks are always fun. Ciao . . .
